Good morning, my sisters & brothers!
I’m noticing that my tendency to want to control the people and circumstances around me is higher than usual. In the past this would generate in me a lot of anxiety, as I frantically tried to direct the show and all the actors to my specifications. I would likely be irritable and angry with those who did not cooperate. I would expend a lot of stressful energy ‘doing it myself’ because no one else was doing it right.
The tendency is still there, but today I am aware of it, and of the fear underlying it. I’ve lived with a belief that I can be safe if I can control my surroundings. If I admit that 1 – I can’t control my surroundings and 2 – even if I could, safely is not guaranteed, then I am left with fear. If control is not the solution to fear, what is?
I’m looking at Step 2, “Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” Right away I am struck by two things:
- It does not say, “Came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity.” Whether I’m aware of it or not, I am not alone. All those imperfect actors around me are in the same boat, and likely experiencing some of the same fears I am. If I can refrain from trying to control and direct them, I might be able to connect with them in ways that will be mutually beneficial.
- It does not say “could restore us to power.” We are powerless, in more ways than I care to admit. But SANITY – what is sanity, anyway? Here’s my dictionary’s definition: “mentally sound; especially, able to anticipate and appraise the effect of one’s actions.” And I think I would add to that, “and to make choices which benefit self and others based on those appraisals.”
But there I go being the director again! I guess I’ll have to write my own dictionary! 
Holding us all in the Light, as we navigate each day with trust in the Higher Power within us all.
Love,
Carol Fox
